Sunday, 11 September 2011

10 Years of September 11th

10 years ago today the defining act of the modern era occured. The terrorist attacks on New York and the fall of the Twin Towers, the attack on the Pentagon and the crash of Flight 93. The attacks became known to the world as the 9/11 and to this day are the most well know atrocities inspired by 1990s boyband 911.

Although Pentagon experts later suggested that MTV show Totally Boyband was under surveillance.

I had been working in upper New York state that summer. I was in a small tourist town called Lake George. Notable only for being the setting of  James Fenimore Cooper The Last of the Mohicans. I was playing Frankenstein's Monster at House of Frankenstein. I would lurk in the dark and scare the women. It got even worse when I put on the makeup.

This had been part of the BUNAC scheme for British student to work in the US and Canada. It was an excellent scheme although the superiority of the people who administered it made we womder why they were there. They took the typical "Americans are stupid" line. I remeber distinctly the orientation meeting we had. The Welsh BUNAC rep who had her modicum of power stated

"Americans think the world revolves around them. Who plays Baseball apart from them. They call it the World Series and name one other country which has even taken part"

"Canada" I said

"Humphh. Well that doesnt count. Its just like America"

"Is that like your being English" I responded

She ended the conversation there.

After I finished the summer season there I had a week in New York before my plane home on September 11th. I did all the American tourist things like the Staten Island Ferry, went for a curry in an Indian restaurant run by some people from Birmingham and on September 10th I took a walking tour of New York run by the YMCA. This was utterly fascinating as we quite literally walked around New York.

Little Italy consisted of a street. I went to a Chinese restaurant called Wong Kees and scandalised two Americans by stating that if you wanted to emigrate to America you had to prove you had a skill they wanted and you couldnt get a Mexican in to do it cheaper.

We were the last people ushered out of the Winter Garden Atrium beneath the Twin Towers little knowing, with exception of staff, I was one the last people to see them.

Then I went back to the youth hostel I was staying in, on 148th and Amsterdam. I had noticed the hostel's TV was permanently on FOX Network which suited me. On FOX Kids the following morning the first episode of the new cartoon Transformers: Robots in Disguise was to be shown. Being the huge Transformers fan which I am it seemed like a nice bonus before I set back of to England.

I was woken on the morning of September 11th by the four Spainiards I was sharing a dorm with gabbering very loudly with each other. All I could make out through the Spanish was the repeated use of the words "World Trade Center". I presumed there an  Iberian day trip planned so went to the shower, changed and headed downstairs to the television room.

I came to watch the news on and an image of the First Tower smouldering. Nobody knew what was going on but I remember a few of us remarking it was not impossible for it to have been an accident. The flight path into New York took you very close to the World Trade Center and you could envisage an scenario where it all went wrong.

I nipped outside with a couple of others to get a coffee at the shop across the road. As we went outside a plane flew vey low overhead and as we followed its trajectory I could tell where it was going. I cannot remember if I saw it hit or not as I think my brain grasped the enormity of the situation before the actual event.

One is unfortunate.

Two is deliberate.

From here on in my recollections of events become indistinct and I cannot remember the chronology of events with any accuracy mostly due to heavy drinking. Which a lot of people took to. There was nothing to do so most people were whiling away the time in pubs and bars.

I remeber there were firefighters sleeping in the spare rooms at the hostel. What suprised me more than anything was there were only a few of them. I had expected every nook and cranny to filled with sleeping memebers of the emergency services.

The streets were full of police. It was probably the safest time to walk around New York ever as it was how I imagined communist Moscow. Crawling with police and all the people's ire directed against a nebulous foreign enemy.

Who the enemy were was not relevant at the time. Later it came out about who was responsible but on the ground they were too emphemeral to matter. It was like hating clouds for the rain.

The 9/11 memorabilia market likes to remember everybody pulling together and New York linking arms against those who would oppress it. I won't disagree but people were making a lot of money out of it. All of us in the youth hostel were trapped oceans away from home and the hostel was happy to charge us our normal price for room and board on a daily basis. I have always thought this was an utterly repellant position and flew in the face of the American unity we were presented with. It was my only criticism of New York.

Looking on Google Maps I am not even sure it is still there. Hopefully karma has paid its off its naked capitalism.

I ended up meeting with a TV crew from Anglia Television, my local station, as one of the crew knew my parent next dor neighbour. They were making a documentary in New York at the time. I hung around with them for a few days before we could all fly again.

My journey to the airport was uneventful. I spent most of it talking to the modelling agent of Rebecca Romijn. He was English but had been in States long enough to get that odd Transatlantic accent you hear on Joan Collins and formerly, Roddy McDowall. He was heading back home because he said 9/11 had put it all in prespective for him and he realised he had not been back home for 11 years.

He was a nice chap an a pleasant antidote to the youth hostel as he had noticed I was down to my final pennies bought me lunch and a coffee.

I flew home on September 16th. There had been various plans mooted such as switching flight tickets to Toronto airport and everybody travelling up to get the planes still flying from Canada but it was never likely. We all just had for events to pan out.

Lots of things are said about 9/11.

Most of what is said is complete nonsense.

Nobody knew what was going on so everybody just tried to get home.

Occasionally it dawns on me I took part in history. That I am off the margins of history textbooks yet to be written but I rather wish I was not.

Really I wish it had not happened.

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

A Wet and Miserable Day

It is early afternoon and I am sat here watching the rain fall endlessly from the sky. It is like being back in Scotland.

I went part time at work in July and as I was getting ready for the Edinburgh Fringe I had not thought about what I am actually going to do with my time.

I went part time primarily so I could travel to gigs and after getting back at 3 in the morning not get up 3 hours later for work. This was a bold a sensible plan but that will not start having an effect for a few weeks yet due to how my diary has worked out.

So instead I have been writing. I am just getting into the swing of writing as disciplined, scheduled activity. I have never done it before so I have been aiming for one hour per day to begin with. Yesterday went very well with a new routine and some disparate gags I shall throw into my set. All written to the background harmonies of the people at the library

Norwich is a small pond but there a few places I can get stage time. However, as it is so small I have decided that all the open mic gigs I do in Norwich now I shall be doing new material at. My intention is to come up with a useable new minute per week.

There is a dreadful pressure for people to write an hour-long show within their first few years doing stand-up. I do not know where it comes from as there are no agents saying you must have an hour before we will look at you. It seems to be a cultural meme which has sprung up on the open-mic circuit.

I have a few ideas for shows spanning my interests from science-fiction, to martial arts to disappointment but I shall be not be doing anything with them until I am happy I have a 4**** show.

Back to the library then.

Monday, 5 September 2011

No Days but Welcome Back to the Really Real World

So my time at the Edinburgh Fringe has been over for a week now and already it feels like a lifetime ago. Like all dreadful memories I have already supressed it and moved onto new abuses. One day I hope I am rich so I dig up all the memories from the mental subfolder I have put them in and then afford the therapy to deal with it. One might argue stand-up is therapy in which case my life is a perfect model supersymmetry and recursion.

I spent 3 days in bed with headache and then another 2 in a daze. I was pulled from my mental fugue by 3 days of gigging over the weekend.

I had been approached by a promoter to do a gig for them on Friday but this did not happen as they had not confirmed with me despite 2 Facebook messages and a text from me, by that morning of the gig. This was extremely frustrating as I had a sentimental attachment to the gig in question. The promoter was one I did some of my very early gigs with but I doubt now I will be doing any of my later gigs for them.

Then I went off to do the wonderful Brownstock Festival near Woodham Ferrers in Essex. It took me an hour to get to Chelmsford then about an hour to travel the few miles from Chelmsford to Woodham Ferrers. I had a rather fun gig despite the stage being the floor of a truck and my trying to compete with a ska band pumping out from the other stage.

It was a reunion of sorts for me as Paddy Lappin, formerly of Norwich was there. He goes by the name of Patrick now he has moved to London.

Ponce.

As was Alex Holland and Will Howells. Yes dear reader, it was a 3 Man Roast Reunion except they were perfroming later than I and I left before they went onstage. I was the John Cleese of the comedy partnership that night. Paul Duncan McGarrity, the compere of LOTWAA was there also making it quite the squared circle.

After an arduous journey back I was back in Norwich for a gig at the Hog in Armour (a pub I always wanted the rename the Lusty Pig). I have done a lot of gigs in this pub and most of them, despite having great potential, have been pretty awful due to the pub's insistence of having us in the main bar. Where we are generally presented with a disinterested group of natives whose sole desire is to drink until they are brave enough to try and pull the barmaid.

This time we were in the fantastic function room upstairs and it was a lovely homecoming gig post-Edinburgh. I shall be back next month doing all new material.

Monday, 29 August 2011

Day 25 & 26 - Hwandan Gogi

So the Fringe with neither bang nor whimper but a sodden fizzle as it was too wet to light the blue touch paper.

The final LOTWAA was great. My voice was on the way out but with one final monumental, room quaking effort I hit my final punchline and walked off stage.

Both 3 Man Roast and LOTWAA were wonderful stressless shows which I think were pretty well received by those who watched it. Both of those were my first stand-up shows in Edinburgh and I enjoyed them with all my heart.

Hopefully they shall continue in some form or another with a WIP lunchtime cabaret (more info soon) and some comedy festival sojourns.

Then after a brunch sat at the table next to Sting and Trudie Styler I departed back to Norwich while coming down with flu.

See you next year you Scottish whore

Saturday, 27 August 2011

Day 24 - Derbyite Theory of Shakespeare Authorship

So the end draws near.

3 Man Roast had its last performance. A triumphant barnstormer for all concerned. All we were missing was pyro and dancing girls to make the show complete.

What was even nicer was a number of the audience were current members of Lip Theatre Company, my old university drama group. It is wonderful to see that the old flame is still burning bright no matter how much alcohol they attempt to douse it with. Though it did put into perspective that the current president of Lip was 6 years old when I joined. But she had a pet sheep so nothing changes.

I then went to watch Nick Helm's Dare to Dream. A combination comedy show and exercise in ennui. Utterly inspiring in one sense and interesting how similar he is to Paul Foot though with an entirely different tone.

LOTWAA had the potential to be awful as there were drunken locals about being annoying.

One complained that Kevin Shepherds show CARonicle, a car themed show, was themed about cars. In her opinion some of the show should have been about lesbian sex and not just cars. I won’t try and contemplate such cast iron logic.

When doing comedy the worst thing in the world is the unknowing punter who wants to chat about what its like. Normally they begin with the "You must be very brave" gambit. Comedy is not brave. Firefighting or dragonslaying are brave. Comedy is what bullied kids do in game of long-form catharsis. There is a long list of questions asked which are all or some of the following;
  • Tell me a joke
  • What's your favourite joke
  • You don't seem very funny off-stage
  • What got you started
  • When will you be famous
  • When will you be on TV
  • ll tell you my joke (it's a bit blue)
  • Please validate the drudgery of my pathetic, baseless existence by talking to me
This drunken woman proceeded to go through all of these at length and by the end I was wondering if it might be considered impolite to end the conversation by vomiting.

This put me in a thoroughly bad mood for the show. LOTWAA had a small but reasonable crowd. We had 2 walkouts but I was beyond caring by that point.

Then I socialised with Will Howells for the last night and sat down to figure out the most important thing in all Edinburgh.

Where will I watch Doctor Who "Let's Kill Hitler" tonight?

Friday, 26 August 2011

Day 23 - Patent encumbrance of large automotive NiMH batteries

3 Man Roast appraoched its end as we performed its penultimate performance. Most 3 Man Roast audiences have been lovely but this lot were BRILLIANT.

There were going along with us from the off and practically everything we did raised a laugh. Joyous to the last despite Will Howell's ever worsening voice. By this stage he was sounding like a phone pest.

LOTWAA was the most interesting gig of the run. I say gig. It was a breakdown on stage.

Paul Duncan McGarrity did about 15 mins compering at the top. I then went on and decided to add in about 5 mins of material from nowhere and chatted with a woman from Lincolnshire about drunken uses for vegetables.

Then Laurence Tuck went on and mentally unravelled for half an hour. His first jokes did'nt get a response so he went off-script. Anybody who knows Laurence will know this is unheard off. He is more likely to perform his set in Latin than deviate from script. It was wonderful. But he overan dramatically.

Dan Adams did not go on as we did'nt have time.

After which Paul Duncan McGarrity proceeded to do half his set to close the show.

To quote one audience member "Is it always that weird?"

Perhaps it should have been.

Then one act who was waiting to get into Funny Fillies (the following show in out venue) and had a squint which made her look as if she was trying to outstare a wall, tried to get onto arguement with us claiming there had been a discussion that women were not funny.

However, nobody was having this conversation as she had misheard something and she came off more like a mad woman arguing with herself.

But the end is in site.

Despite how boring reality looks from here.


Thursday, 25 August 2011

Day 22 - Legends of Mount Shasta

3 Man Roast was as lovely as always.

LOTWAA was an interesting gig. The audience were, fidgety as best described. It took a lot of work and accusation of bullyhood from the compere Paul Duncan McGarrity to get them onside. I was feeling particularly hardheaded last night. As the Fringe is winding down and I have had a fairly consistantly decent run I, rather selfishly, had a bit of me time onstage last night which involved long bits of silent comedy and running jokes into the ground. I got the audience onside for the end and although I have had better nights I thoroughly enjoyed the show.

After the show I went on a quick jolly to the Library Bar at the Gilded Balloon where I stayed out so late it was unseemly and began musing on the inappropriateness of toilets in bars being called the gentlemens.

I was supposed to do Laur Lexx's Quiz in My Pants yesterday. I knew I was booked for Wednesday but somehow I managed to get it into my head yesterday was Tuesday.

Well done me

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Day 21 - Vertebral subluxation

The wheel has turned.

Most of this Fringe people I know have grumbles and mumbled of bad audiences and small numbers. Both 3 Man Roast and LOTWAA have been a delight from start to finish.

It seems now the karmic overdraft we have amassed has paid off and both shows are being watched by the unappreciative and drunk.

Piffle frankly.

Yesterday, I finally saw Paul Foot's show Still Life. As anybody will be able to tell you he's my favourite live act on gthe circuit. (Simon Munnery is my favourite comedian full stop but I prefer watching Paul). His shows are bizarre, obtuse creations so far removed from comedy clubs and the nonsense Outline Magazine peddles on their "funny" page as to be a seperate genre. Its like being forced to watch musical theatre for a year and realising that what everybody thinks theatre is then going to watch the RSC do Ibsen.

The show was an exquisite nonsense and I think he is two years away from his Magnus Opus.

Hopefully I can temp him back to Norwich at some point.

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Day 20 - Hongcheng Magic Liquid Incident

Today was the dread of all days. The final Monday. However, it was suprisingly event free.

3 Man Roast was excellent and I do believe I finally relaxed onstage. LOTWAA was pretty awful with a diffident, uninterested and tiny crowd. One couple told us they had just walked out of their two previous shows and proceeded to walk out of ours. I was wondering if that was there hobby. Like their own audience hokey-cokey.

Once again it struck me I must get at least 10mins of just jokes in my set. I have always had problems writing "JOKES" as personally I don't enjoy listening to jokes very much. Jimmy Carr and Milton Jones tend to leave me cold. I tend to prefer the acts whose sets are built on wit more than anything.

I ran into John Osbourne's whos show John Peel's Shed is almost the talk of the Fringe. Then I went to see John Kearn's Dinner Party with John Kearns and Pat Cahill.

This was probably the most enjoyable peice of nonsense I had seen this Fringe and I highly recommend it

This is a short blog as I need a nap

Toodles

Monday, 22 August 2011

Day 19 - Manatee of Helena

Sunday is the day of rest.

They say no rest for the wicked.

Yesterday was Sunday and apparently I have done something dreadful as it was day which strained even my delicate constitution dear reader.

I had to get up at 11am to find my Flat with an Omnidirectional Shower was now a  Flat with an Omnidirectional Shower and No Hot Water as the boiler had gone for a Burton.

So once icecold wash later I felt awful and set up for the day in the worst way possible.

3 Man Roast was not running today. I have been told this is due to the venue showing sport. I don't believe this and think the predatory lotharios Alex and Will are too busy seducing their respective prey to bother with a show, dear reader.

Instead I went off and performed at Miss London's Pick of the Fringe. I show I enjoyed thoroughly although none of the others seemed to.

The venue was a lofty church set within the bowels of Edinburgh's 4D geography and, as massive vaulted churchs are the standard performance space in Norwich. I was unfazed by it. But a varied show by all concerned.

After some vigorous sitting I went to LOTWAA where I preceeded to put in the best onstage performance of my life.

I frankly could have basted in self-satrisfaction all night but instead went to the Gilded Balloon to congratulate the originator of Norwich stand-up gigs, Pat Cahill, on his Amused Moose victory and then discovered the Wine Room tech was an old uni friend of mine.

Then I went to sleep.

So there

Love you all. Try the fish. Goodbye

Sunday, 21 August 2011

Day 18 - Radioactive Quackery

After the horror of the previous days show today was much nicer all around

3 Man Roast was excellent with a crowd on page from the beginning and a healthy bucket at the end. It may be considered crass to measure these things by monetary worth but you cannot eat art.

As a rule you can tell 3 Man Roast has gone well if it has been enjoyed by groups of hetrosexual men (know taxonomically as Homo Sapien Laddus, Latin for Wise Man birthed by Alan Ladd). This is not due to outrageous references to homosexuality and havig better things to do than watch sport but rather some of the jokes require you having read something.

Ever.

I had intended to watch a free show or two but that fell by the wayside as I went back to my Flat with its Omnidirectional Shower and had a doze. All I need to do is drink tea and I am prectically geriatric.

LOTWAA was excellent with a small but appreciative audience who were VERY generous in the bucket.

I then went to see Late and Free at Espionage. Late and Free is the Free Festival's version of Late N'Live and I shall be controversial here. I think it is the better of the two of them.

I am one of the few new stand-ups up here who went to Late N'Live in the old Gilded Ballon (before it moved to the Teviot). Late and Free was closer in spirit to it than the current Late N'Live which reminds me of a Disney version of itself.

At Late and Free anybody can get on, the acts were inconsistant and dicking about backstage with an audience crackling with energy. Mark Simmons and Damien Kingsley did an excellent job with the show and I am disappointed I have never gone down earlier.

Afterwards, I met an American.

She was unpleasant.

Marvellous

Saturday, 20 August 2011

Day 17 - Aspartame Controversy

Day 17 was the day of fatigue. The day of fire and destruction. The day of sadness and the day of joy.

I had come in from "the socialising" to my flat with its omnidirectional shower at an hour familiar only to those trying to avoid conversation with the horror of the night before.

I had no hours sleep then went off to do 3 Man Roast.

The show went surprisingly well for me although some of the audience walked out. We were glad they did. I had noticed they were doing shots before the show and we are not a show catering to the laddish demographic. I think 3 Man Roast is best enjoyed sober with access to wikipedia for references and they clearly wanted to us to reinforce their prejudices while validating that drinking so much they vomit there own anus was a lifestyle choice.

At this point I should have returned to my flat with its omnidirectional shower and slept

I should have done this.

Instead I wandered about a little and ran into doyens of the Norwich Cabaret scene Joe and Lucy who were up for a while. As the show was about to go up and after hugging Bob Slayer we went to watch Frank Sanazi.

The premise is Hitler as Rat Pack singer. Its a one joke Cabaret act beautifully well thought through and realised. Hopefully the combined might of Headless, No Strings and Salt Box will be able to entice him to Norwich soon. He played Norwich once before at Bonanafana Social Club to a mixed reaction. I am tempted to say this was the wrong demographic for him. Plug him into Norwich's alt/metal scene and I think we are onto a winner.

We saw him in The Hive on Edinburgh's
Niddry Street
. A vast, dank bunker which fitted the act. We were lamenting Norwich lack of basements and medium sized venues. Which is a common gripe of mine.

Then I did my evening show LOTWAA and if you were at the show I would like to apologise. I was so tired by this point I could barely focus my vision and turned in a performance that wasn’t so my dialled in as performed on a dial-up internet connection where all the data kept getting corrupted and important bits missed out and probably it was better to leave it and come back at a better time.

After this horror show I slinked off to the Pear Tree for the birthday party of a man I have never spoken to and then went home early to birch my balls in penitence.

Friday, 19 August 2011

Day 15 & 16 - Extropianism

As I was unable to access a computer yesterday due to needing a little nap today is a double post.

I think time is compressed in Edinburgh. It’s a year of gigging in a month both physically and emotionally all compressed into 30 days. It the comedy circuit as zip file. Because of this I'm not exactly sure which day some of these incidents occurred in so this post will take the holistic view of it all.

3 Man Roast has been uniformly lovely and LOTWAA has been less consistent.

There seems to be a pattern where Laurence Tuck and I do well and Dan Adams not or vice versa. On one of the days was the first time I thought we did uniformly well. As LOTWAA has a later slot the audiences can be a little friskier than with 3 Man Roast. The learning curve is excellent as an upshot of this.

I have long shied away from doing any material about coming from Norfolk as its all mostly hack nonsense (Give me 6) peddled out by even the best comedians. However, after doing about 2 and half hours of thinking with a premise which started off with a joke about Northern Ireland I suddenly came up with an original quip which inverted the whole thing. I have trotted this out in front of the disparate demographics of Edinburgh audiences and it appears to be working almost universally.

Thusly I shall be trotting it out on the circuit from September onwards.

3 Man Roast picked up a 4* review from Whatsonstage.com with the lovely sign off note

                         "These boys are definitely ready to graduate to a larger room."


I also ran into fellow Norwich resident John Osbourne's whose show John Peel's Shed has been picking up 5* reviews across the board. 

Most evenings have ended tomorrow morning and however much Diet Coke I am consuming I have yet to become a more confident and independent young woman.

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Day 14 - Phrenology

As I had become overexcited by The Wrestling the previous night I had very little sleep today as I had to go along for a meeting at 9am

This is a perfectly rational time for most of humanity but as the Fringe takes place in its own time zone this is like having a meeting a midnight.

I am convinced that because everything at the Fringe takes place 7 hours behind everything else for the month of August Edinburgh moves into the same time zone as Mumbai. The reason everybody involved has such a hard time readjusting in September is everybody gets jetlag from travelling south.

The meeting went fine and then I put in my worst performance at 3 Man Roast of the run so far. Getting material out of my mouth was like swimming through porridge and the tiredness had set my IBS off leading to me spending my stage time feeling like I had been punched.

I then went back to my flat with its omnidirectional shower and went for a lie down.

Then LOTWAA went quietly but pleasantly with an unexpectably large bucket at the end.

At 1am I toddled off to see Hurt & Anderson's sketch show. I had met them in my venue and as it was there last night I decided to watch them. A nice show with a wonderfully bonkers idea about reverse strippers. It was a little scattergun and could have down with a script editor and director but there perfomances were excellent and look forward to seeing what next year brings.

At that point I went for a longer lie down. The problem with being teetotal is I end up drinking gallons of diet coke. Sleep was a rare commodity last night

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Day 13 - Ancient Astronaut Speculation

3 Man Roast was lovely

Now that's out of the way lets talk about the most important thing yesterday

THE WRESTLING

Possibly the single greatest event ever staged at the Fringe.

Max of Max & Ivan, a former pro-wrestler, decided to stage an utterly barmy comedians vs wrestlers event.

The sold-out Pleasance Grand turned into an combination of a Music Hall crossed with the Smackdown! set and staged possibly the greatest spectacle in Comedy/Sports Entertainment.

With Nick Helm compering various comedians, split into 2 factions, wrestled pro-wrestlers for "The Wrestling" cup.

All of this was presided over by Brendon Burns and Andrew Maxwell in the commentary booth.

The content of the show was almost irelevant to the glorious spectacle which unfolded. Mere anarchy was loosed upon the stage.

The most interesting part of the night was the 1/3 of the audience who were actually wrestling fans. Rabble roused by Brendon Burns using references only we would get our 1/3 were the most vocal and rabid. It was like the old ECW videos with there loyal and knowing crowd.

The other 2/3 of the audience were far too demure for their own good. They treated it like a theatre show which completely missed the point.

I was with Will Howells and when I was up from  my chair practically foaming at the mouth he was sat rather demurely having a bit of a clap.

Rubbish.

There was a moment when the action spilled into the crowd. After the show Will and others complained they did'nt like that bit as they were worried about the healtha and safety issues.

I thought it was the best bit.

More of that next year. Preferably with a Championship Belt

Monday, 15 August 2011

Day 12 - Perpetual Motion

3 Man Roast was not on Sunday so I spent most of the day lazing on a Sunday afternoon.

Will and I met up for lunch and, as our press blurb says, we did'nt perform because we were eating.

Will and I had a 2 Man Roast. It was almost spiritual. Even if the lunch descended into our writing a series of hilarious Doctor Who based jokes utterly incomprehensible to anybody except fanboys (and girls).

After that I went off to do LOTWAA in the evening and was, once again, lovely. This is becoming an uncomfotably regular occurence. According to the bar staff our numbers are larger than any of the other shows and all our audiences are if not universally wonderful then never unpleasant.

I also have picked up some followers on Twitter from the show.

This was my last LOTWAA for 24 hours as Monday night I am off the Pleasance to watch The Wrestling.

If its repeated next year and I'm not in it I shall cry. Given my general physical resemblance to The Undertaker and my hobby all the roads are pointing to me. Give me a Goldberg gimmick and the match writes itself.

I'm not saying I should be there as that's what you should be saying.

Then I closed the evening hanging around with Norwich's finest John "5 Stars" Osbourne and Tim "The Leader" Clare.

Then I had a relatively early night which is unheard of at the Fringe

Sunday, 14 August 2011

Day 11- Warp Drive Theory

As mentioned earlier 3 Man Roast doesn't run on the weekends due to some fool deciding sport is more profitable than comedy. This left me with my day free to explore Edinburgh, breathe in the culture and expand my world view with new theatre and art.

So I had a lie in. It was excellent thank you.

That was pretty much my day. I had lunch with my old University friend Keith with whom I am staying which was a pleasant diversion then pottered about doing very little.

The evening show of LOTWAA was an interesting learning curve. The audience were responsive but only intermittantly with neither Laurence nor I really getting the "WOOMPH" when the crowd get behind you simultanously.

However, I seemed to be very popular with some audience members. Which was delightful even if it does imply that after the show I did something utterly dreadful to her.

This continues a theme which has developed this year as I seem quite popluar with the alt/metal crowd. I used to be a big heavy metal fan before I moved into electronica then stopped listening to music altogther. But given my general style I find it wonderful if absurd.

After that when wandering through the Pleasance Dome which reminds me of drinking in an airport waiting lounge I ran into David Trent who was up for a look around. Lovely to see another East Anglian act here which means currently there is over 5 of us.

I have nothing to recommend.

Goodbye

Saturday, 13 August 2011

Day 10 - Social Credit Parties in Canada

So Edinburgh is progressing absurdley quickly.

3 Man Roast was a hard gig. The audience laughed by I dont think they believed in us at any point in the show. I feel a lot of stand-up is about making people emphasise with you and the audience did'nt do that at any point. They laughed intellectually but at no point were on they the journey with us. Which is a shame as we had a fire regulation scaring 42 in the room.

LOTWAA was a delight. The audience were all in the right frame of mind and a hour away from drunkeness.
Mark Simmons compering was pitched perfectly and set the right tone for the evening. I opened and, despite a quiet stage right, the audience were all on board.

I made the psychological error of concentrating on the quiet stage right, and did'nt enjoy myself as much as I should which was a shame.

We had John Fleming in to watch us. I have been in e-mail communication with John for a while now and it was lovely to finally meet him. One of my major interests is the origins of the alternative comedy movement in the late 1970s and it was a pleasure to meet somebody so connected. As he runs the Malcolm Hardee Comedy Awards and he has watched us I think we should now claim we were considered for the award. I think thats in keeping with spirit of the whole thing and I doubt most punters will pick up on my selective use of language.

Mark Simmons had some very complementry words about my set when he said I was a "Non-generic comedian" and my act reminded him of the comedians you would see at The Stand. It was'nt necessarily for everybody but thoughtful and funny. I had never considered my material in those terms before but it was the biggest compliment I think anybody has paid me.

As with these things form follows funtion. I have a peice of material in my set about martial arts. It is a very niche peice of observational comedy which I have broadened out to make accesible but its origins are very specific. After the gig an audience member complimented me on how accurate and lovely it was to hear it observed. That had now vailidated that for me.

The audience was also made up of two people I was at Dundee University, two friends from Norwich and an old Fringe friend. My set talks a lot about my University drinking days which were over long before I came into the comedy world so it was nice if strange to have people there who were part of that period.

Also according to an audience member I had the best shoes on of any act that night. Damn right. I have better shoes than any comedian with the exceptions of Mick Ferry, with whom I once spent an hour discussing the virtues of Loakes and Barkers, and Paul Foot.

I then toddled off to Brookes to bath in ego run-off and the most miraculous thing happened. Somebody in Brookes schmoozed me. This has never happened before, ever, and if it never happens again at least it has happened once.

I have no shows to recommend as I took the day off from watching shows as my mind could'nt take it


Friday, 12 August 2011

Day 9 - Situationist International

Three Man Roast was wonderful yesterday. The audience were with us from the beginning and it was joyous there is little to report.

Our 3 Weeks review has given us 3 stars ***. This means the show is officially good. This is excellent given how impromptu and unexpected the whole performance was.

I have been trying to get to see fellow East Anglian performer Doug Segal's show  "I Know What You're Thinking". Doug is a former ad executive turned mentalist who has been working the corporate circuit for the last few years. He runs a lovely comedy gig in Bury St. Edmunds which I have played a few times. I was supposed to see the show on Tuesday but something came up I had to attend to and yesterday I made the worst of all errors. I simply forgot. A dreadful shame as hes sold out for his final two dates. This is a running theme for me failing to see Doug's shows. Having failed to see it in Norwich as I was out of the county and missing an excerpt from it at a corporate launch we were performing at because I was sat in the green room.

Humphh

LOTWAA was excellent also. The audience were out the door and a good show was had by all.

The real fun began in the evening. I went to the Ivory Tower of Brooke's Bar to find I had missed Will tumbling down stairs and crashing through a table. I told him he was watching too much Smackdown!. Comedy would be improved in general if it featured more chokeslamming and hardcore rulz. I would attend the worst run gong show in the world if we could replace the gong with an exploding C4 barbed wire challenge match.

Then I nearly got into a fight in a pizza parlour because somebody decided he thought it was funny to mention my resemblance to a certain well know soul singer.



Thursday, 11 August 2011

Day 8 - Underlying Priciples of Microeconomic Behaviour

The day began with using a blunt mach 3 to shave. I may have well used the quill of a procupine as I stupidly eviscerated my throat and spent the next hour in swollen agony.

This set the tone of the day.

A few people were referring to it as Black Wednesday which seemed accurate. All the problems began with either science or God depending on your inclination.

The heavens opened like the bowels of an Ebola patient and continued and continued to pour upon the soil in an attempt to wash away the stain of the teenage drama student.

The audiences for bothe shows were hard work.

3 Man Roast was less a comedy gig and more Georgian dental work. I do not attend to go further into it as I would rather forget the whole experience

LOTWAA was an improvement but then anything except a cannibal holocaust would have been.

There was a silver cloud on this accursed day. LOTWAA had a few industry people in and despite the sheer hard work to get anything from the punters they seemed to enjoy it.

BBC Radio 2 were in having a look (well listen) as was a scout from a television company.

He came up to us after the show after the stating how much he enjoyed it. This has never ever happened to me since I started stand-up. Living in Norwich I have little exposure or context in the wider comedy world and that one comment stopped me in my tracks.

Laurence and I had a drink with him afterwards and he seemed interested in what we had to say.

We celebrated modestly with a quick trip to the vainglory of a mostly empty Brookes Bar.

It was at this point I was waylaid by somebody asking me if I was interested in a Doctor Who comedy project which was happening later in the year.

It was at that point I had to go for a lie down.

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Days 6 & 7 - Peter Kropotkin

My best laid plans to blog every day have already fallen by the wayside as I was unable to get to a computer terminal and my hands are too big to blog from my iPhone.

The shows were lovely universally. Lifestyles of the Weird & Aimless (or LOTWAA as I shall now call it) was a bit frisky on Day 7. A tardy compere, and a audience of foreigners,  meant they hadn't really settled down until twenty minutes into the show. After this Laurence and Dan turned in fine performances.

The one advantage of doing two shows a day is lessons from one can carry over to the other. Edinburgh has an odd time compression so these five days have felt like 2 weeks all ready (I might write an equation to convey the compression one day)

On Day 7 I ventured to the Gilded Balloon to wait for So You Think You're Funny to Finish. Fellow Norwich comedian Nathan Willcock was in the semi-final. The winner of the heat was Fern Brady who I have twittered with before and finally met.

I took Nathan to the Loft Bar, The Gilded Balloon's industry bar at the top of the Teviot. The Loft Bar always reminds me of the secret levels Zelda. You spend ages trying to get there and once you do you arrive its full of monsters and several important bosses.

I should point out Kate Copstick was there last night and she is anything but a monster. She is lovely

Will Howells appeared and we spent 2 hours mumbling about between there and Brookes bar at the Pleasance.

For once in my life I was utterly sensible and went home at a reasonable time. 3am being reasonable for the Fringe.

The Fringe when sober can be an odd experience

Monday, 8 August 2011

Day 5 - Anti-Gravity

Due to various reason mostly involving sport 3 Man Roast is not running on the weekends which left me free to my own devices on Sunday.

The Fringe is full of pleasures, a good review, an interested agent, an attractive drama student but the one thing most performers really want more than all of this is a decent night's sleep. As is my want I got back to my flat with its unidirectional shower at a silly hour of the morning and proceeded to have 8 hours sleep. I believe my Edinburgh experience may have peaked.

Having the day to myself I went to see a couple of shows and, Edinburgh's weather pattern continuing regardless, practically swam there.

I decided to invest in an umbrella and being the son of a pinchfist Ulsterman I deciced to tour the second hand shops of the town for something suitable. With my quest almost disrailed by a MIB Aliens figure from Kenner in a Cancer Research shop their shining like a beacon in the rain was Lidl. Surely its "Aisle of Things we Did'nt Realise We Needed" will finally payoff.

No. Not only did they not have an umbrella, they did not have an "Aisle of Things we Did'nt Realise We Needed" which is poor form in my mind.

Edinburgh shops long cottoned onto the need for waterproofing at the Fringe and hike their prices of such products accordingly. So I went to one place I could be assured on an excellent price. Poundland. Hoist but its own marketing strategy.

After all this excitement (and exciting it was, even without an "Aisle of Things we Did'nt Realise We Needed" every Lidl is a voyage of discovery seeing what forms its clientele have devolved to) I watched Liam Mullone at 3 Sisters and the lovely Jessica Fostekew. Both excellent BTW.

Then I went of for my evening show. Due to inclement weather and it being Sunday I had expected an audience of 3 but the back room of the White Horse (which resembles of smugglers den) was 2/3 full and an excellent show was pulled from the calender wreckage.

Later I met with Will Howells and Tom Neenan from Gentlemen of Leisure in Brooke's Bar at the Pleasance. Brooke's Bar is essentially the comedy industry equivalent of peacocks rutting. While everybody was displaying their career finery Will, Tom and I discussed Doctor Who and the Quiz League of London.

I think we can all say who were the winners last night (NB: Not us)

Sunday, 7 August 2011

Fringe Blog (slight return) Days 1,2,3 & 4

When I posted a few days ago I stated I would blog every day but unfortuntaly due to my forgetting to get the wi-fi code from my landlord who has disappeared off for a wedding anniversary I have not has access to a computer until today. So this will be a brief summary of my first weekend back at the Fringe.

I arrived in a relatively quiet Edinburgh and within an hour was on stage with my first show "3 Man Roast" with Will Howells and Alex Holland. Which of course was the perfect time to have a reviewer from 3 Weeks in to see the show. When you are in a venue as small as ours the audience member with the notepad and pen sticks out like an extended metaphor. The audience enjoyed themselves and that is as much as I wanted from the first show. So the reviewer be damned (I say this but I have been fanatically looking at the 3 weeks website for the review. For good or ill at least it is attention)

After sitting down for some hours my evening show "Lifestyles of the Weird and Aimless"" with Dan Adams and Laurence Tuck was a much smoother affair. No reviewers in this time although we did have a mentally disabled girl who demanded a Hot Dog which I could cope with.

Edinburgh is the same as it ever is, full of schmoozers, boozers and radical reinterpretations of Brecht.

The rain is like an ever present migraine. Always there lurking and avoided only by going indoors and self-medicating.

My traditional flashbacks to my wilder Scottish youth come as thick and fast as they ever do. Every streetcorner reminding me of sharing drinks with tramps and women called Angela.

I watched some Free Festival shows yesterday the highlight of which was Norway's Daniel Simonsen at the City Cafe. The show's not about anything and all the better for it ploughing into absurdist anti-comedy by way of nothing.

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Test

Last year I promised myself I would blog every day. Needless to say this did not happen. It was all lost in blur of gin, fried food and appearances of Al Murray Pub Landlord in various unexpected places including the Pleasance toilet (twice).
This year Im actually going to try and blog daily. I am rather more tech savvy than I was 12 months ago ie I actually know how to use an iPod now. I do not have one but that is not the point.
My bag is packed and, as ever, I am leaving Norwich at an hour so early tomorrow its practically today. So hopefully this will be the start of a beautiful relationship. However, I suspect it be the literay equivalent of a fumble in the bushes.
Until tomorrow